It can be frustrating when things don’t go as well as we expect. We tend to be our own harshest critics and become easily disappointed when we fail to meet expectations, even when they may be our own.
We set standards, or are set them by others, and strive to attain them. It is often our parents who demanded these high standards. We desperately want to please the judges, parents, boss, partner or whoever. Seeking approval is a behaviour learned from an early age. The dependent child is seeking love, sustenance and protection.
When our best is not good enough, it can be crushing – the on-set of failure, inadequacy, even humiliation, can present. So how do we recover from this?
It helps to detach from the past and all that childhood ‘stuff’. Come into the moment. Arrive at the present time. Be in the Now.
Next, let’s look at Perspective. How important is it? No, really – in the bigger scale of life.
Will that which has been achieved suffice for the present purpose? Is 80% OK? Sometimes, even 20% is OK. It’s a start. An improvement. Celebrate the achievement, rather than seeing only failure. There is no ‘failure’, only experience and learning.
Our First World behaviours are revealing the state of our consciousness. Supermarkets in the UK reject fruit and vegetables that are misshapen from growers, even if they are wholesome and tasty. Shoppers have come to expect conformity to an artificial and wasteful standard. When available, they will buy the misshapen produce, but expect a lower price. So, they place value upon appearance. ‘Perfect’ specimens are highly prized and acclaimed.
When you are hungry, when you are not privileged to be able to afford ‘beautiful’ produce, the appearance of fresh produce is irrelevant. Everything that Nature provides is ‘perfect’.
Everything that we strive to do is ‘perfect’. It is our attempt, our contribution and our best. We may need assistance to meet the objective and that’s OK too. In fact, it’s an opportunity to collaborate and share the experience. To learn from each other; the student from the teacher and the teacher from the student.
Everything is just as it is meant to be. It’s all perfection!